Questions of belief

I must be a very little person. One gains insight to the life the hard way, making mistakes, and in the process of reforming one cannot help wondering the value of oneself.

When one realizes the human capacity to do right and to do wrong one would want to back away from the world.

When one hears the echo of the harsh words of the judge, one dreams of being far away.

One feels tied to the past. The meanings which were never certain, the meanings so important once all come back and one cannot set apart from them. Why did I value the phrase "In my days of infinite boredom I found god", the words which had come to me during the long pointless summer. I cut letters out of thin paper and lifted them on my wall. Nobody understood them, allthough they all stood under them. What I meant is that a person can decide only over oneself and be the god of oneself - if this person is given enough time and space. Boredom, sweet boredom turns days and nights into life's worship. The mysteries of a godlike humanity slowly make themself noticed.

But one realizes that by using personal explanations there are countless of ways one can make the other one mistake. Do I have to be precise? We've all had moments when we talk with terms borrowed from someone else, referring to the discussion we had the previous time. We've all had times when we are not present.

One is able to imagine the difficulties of thravelling through time and space, but what about travelling through the boundaries of knowing?

When I find myself in the midst of agony all I have to do is to prove myself that I am capable to love, for love is understanding. Why did you tell me, my friends, that one cannot understand every single human being? You gave me an absolution. Still my mind struggles in search of ultimate answers.

When a mind does not *know* itself, it is flawed. When a mind is flawed, the man is flawed. When a man is flawed, that which he touches is flawed. It is said that what a flawed man sees, his hands make broken. - Dak'kon, from the game Planescape: Torment